Smokey’s Official Policy on the First Leaf Indoors
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Smokey would like to report a change in the perimeter.
At approximately early evening, one red leaf was discovered on the worn rug beside a chair.
Smokey froze.
He looked at the leaf.
He looked at me.
Then he looked at the leaf again, in case it had developed an explanation.
It had not.
I said it probably came in on my notebook.
Or possibly my sleeve.
Smokey considers “possibly my sleeve” an unacceptable standard of household administration.
His official position is as follows:
1. The perimeter has changed.
There was no leaf.
Now there is a leaf.
This is how breaches begin.
2. Management has been notified.
Management was standing in the lantern light wearing striped stockings and offering theories instead of solutions.
Confidence remains low.
3. Management is moving evidence.
Under close supervision, I picked up the leaf and placed it in a small dish near the door.
Smokey followed the entire operation at floor level.
He inspected the dish.
He inspected my sleeve.
He declined to comment on the notebook.
4. This investigation remains ongoing.
Smokey is now guarding the empty patch of rug where the leaf had been.
Nothing has happened there for twenty minutes.
This has only increased his concern.
— Maeve
Transcribed while under investigation.
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