Smokey’s Official Position on Open Windows
Smokey has determined that open windows offer essential bird surveillance, interesting smells, sunlight, and local intelligence. Rain is, in his view, an unacceptable flaw in the arrangement.
The official, mildly judgmental perspectives of the cottage cat on deadlines, meetings, and productivity culture.
Smokey has determined that open windows offer essential bird surveillance, interesting smells, sunlight, and local intelligence. Rain is, in his view, an unacceptable flaw in the arrangement.
Smokey would like to clarify a misunderstanding. Supervising is work. It requires finding a location with an unobstructed view of whatever someone else is doing. It requires remaining alert for important developments. Such as: A cupboard opening. Cheese appearing. Someone sitting in your chair. The possibility of lunch. It also requires occasional slow blinking to…
I have been asked to comment on the moonflowers. Here are my findings. • They opened exactly when they intended to. • Staring at them for four consecutive evenings did not appear to speed up the process. • The porch blanket was acceptable. • The tea smelled promising. • The blueberry, goat cheese, and honey…
Earlier this week, Maeve discovered what she dramatically described as “an old threshold waiting to be reopened.” This is, in ordinary language, a gate. For the sake of thorough reporting, I have monitored the situation closely from the porch, the garden bench, and one highly strategic patch of shade beside the lavender. My findings are…
Earlier this week, Maeve announced she was going to “finish organizing.” Since then, I have documented the following: • One forgotten tin of seeds was discovered. • Considerable time was spent smiling at said tin. • Several cups of lemon balm tea were consumed while “thinking.” • Blueberry muffins were baked for reasons that remain…
Maeve announced that this week would be dedicated to tidying the cottage. Since then, I have observed the following: • One loaf of rosemary bread has disappeared. • A jar of mint sun tea has been brewed by the sun instead of the kettle. • An afternoon was spent collecting blackberries that, according to Maeve,…
A Statement from the Office of Cottage Affairs After several days of careful observation, extensive napping, and rigorous chair testing, Smokey Moonbeam has released his official findings regarding the ongoing rainy weather at Moonbeam Cottage. The report was delivered at approximately 2:17 p.m. Or possibly 4:43 p.m. The exact time remains unclear because the author…
By Smokey Moonbeam, Professional Cat and Occasional Consultant Good evening. As the only truly reasonable resident of Moonbeam Cottage, I feel obligated to address a growing problem. Tea should be consumed while warm. Specifically: Staying outside past bedtime because of fireflies. As many of you may know, the fireflies returned this week. This development has…
A statement from Smokey. I have observed humans for many years. Possibly too many. One thing continues to puzzle me. You appear to believe that your worth is somehow connected to how busy you are. This seems exhausting. Consider the following: I have accomplished very little today. And yet I remain magnificent. The birds were…